Every resident has a story. Our job is to slow down, listen, and let them tell it.

Before you begin

These questions are conversation starters—not an interview. Choose one or two questions, listen carefully, and follow where the conversation leads. If a resident doesn’t want to answer, simply move on. With residents who have dementia, keep questions simple and allow plenty of time for a response.

Listen more than you talk

You don’t have to ask a lot of questions. One good question can open the door to an incredible conversation.

• If they say, “I grew up on a farm,” don’t rush to the next question. Ask, “Tell me about the farm.”
• If they mention their mother, ask, “What was she like?”
• If they smile when they talk about their wedding, stay there.

Follow the joy. Follow the memories. Follow their story.

And if they repeat themselves, listen again. For a resident with dementia, the story may be new to you—but the feeling behind it is still meaningful to them.

We aren’t collecting information. We are getting to know a person. We are honoring a life. We are making a connection.

Questions to choose from

Childhood & memories

1. Where did you grow up? What did you like most about living there?
2. What is one of your favorite childhood memories?
3. What did you dream of becoming when you grew up?
4. What was your favorite childhood game or activity?
5. What was your favorite family tradition?
6. What was your favorite holiday? What made it special?
7. Tell me about a favorite pet you had.
8. What is a place you have visited that you will always remember?

Family, work & life

9. What kind of work did you do? What did you enjoy most about it?
10. Who has had the greatest influence on your life?
11. What are two of the most memorable or fulfilling times in your life?
12. What is one accomplishment you are especially proud of?
13. What has life taught you that you wish you had known when you were younger?
14. What is the best advice someone ever gave you?
15. What makes you laugh out loud?
16. Do you remember a funny or unexpected moment that still makes you smile?
17. What do you appreciate more today than you did when you were younger?
18. What do people sometimes take for granted that you believe we should value more?

Wisdom & legacy

19. If you could give one piece of advice to the next generation, what would it be?
20. What is something you hope your family will always remember about you?
21. Is there a truth or lesson you would especially like to pass down to your family?
22. What would you like to be remembered for?
23. If you could change one thing about the world today, what would it be?
24. What advice would you give me?

That last question can be especially powerful. It turns the conversation around. Instead of seeing the resident as someone who simply needs our help, we recognize that they have wisdom, experience, and something valuable to give.

Faith & spiritual conversations

25. What role has faith played in your life?
26. Is there a Bible verse, hymn, or Scripture story that has encouraged you?
27. How has God helped you through difficult times?
28. Are there times when you have felt especially close to God?
29. What thoughts or beliefs do you have about Jesus?
30. How has the Bible encouraged you in the hard places of life?
31. Can I pray with you before I leave?

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is simply this: “I have time to listen to your story.”